Forgive Yourself

Easter is just a few weeks away
Easter is the season of forgiveness
So let’s start a series of posts on Forgiveness
Let the Spirit of God lead us…
Seek your own personal spiritual messages
from God as we travel
this spiritual journey together…

Looks like we will be dealing with accepting ourselves
for what we have learned
so far
and keeping an open mind and spirit to keep learning…
It appears that past behaviors can take us off course and
take away our power…
ok let’s see where this leads…

Forgiving yourself because you did not know better
Sounds like an easy thing to do
But it is not
Why is it so hard to do?
Maybe because in order to forgive,
We need to take an honest look at our 
Defects of character
And negative past behaviors 

Self Worth is
important in our recovery

It takes courage to be real

Our self worth and
Self value
are very important
Courage is
necessary to peal off all the fake and
survival layers to get to our
real genuine self…

Be Patient and Keep seeking healing

Ask and you shall receive…
You may have to do some soul searching…

It is worth it…

No one likes to look at our faults
However looking at faults
and wanting to do and be better
brings more peace and joy into our lives

Many times people
close to us bring up
mistakes we made in the
past.
We know
we need healing when
we keep giving
power to that person to keep wounding us.
Dig deep…
Listen to what the Spirit of God is telling you…

Connect to God’s Spirit to help us
Ask God to remove all our defects of character
that are blocking us from forgiving ourselves and
keeping us from being the person God created us to be

Connecting to Divine Healing is essential
Thank you, God, for being willing to heal me.
I am willing to allow you to enlighten and heal me.
I turn my will over to you…
May your Will be done…

I seek your divine Will on this healing journey…
Help me to listen for your divine messages along the way

Look at what entered our spiritual path…
“Perfectionism”
Interesting…that Perfectionism shows up on our spiritual journey as we seek the Spiritual wisdom on
how to forgive ourselves…

This quote got me thinking…

Perfectionism is a “mindset”
It sets us up for
“low self worth”
“We are never good enough”
“We don’t measure up”

Buckle your seatbelts…
The road could get bumpy…

Oh my God
Fear has joined the party…
Really? 
It seems like fear won’t leave us alone
God must want to get our attention

Perfectionism is about many fears
Fear of making mistakes
Fear of disappointing others
Fear of failure
Fear of success
self worth
self-esteem

I choose and
I hope you choose
FEAR
Face Everything and Rise

We miss out on life and learning and growing
if we don’t try

We learn from our own mistakes
and we also learn from
the mistakes of others…

We learn from trial and error
Keep what works…
Get rid of what is sabotaging us…

We need to become aware of what needs changed
We need to accept it before we can change it
We need to accept our “perfectionism”
Head on…
and
reframe our thinking…
Keep striving for improvement
and excellence instead of
perfection

Excellence is doing your best
When you know better, you do better

Do your best
Until you can do better
Keep improving…

Fear of disappointed others

People Pleasing is now being revealed…
Why should we care so much about what others think?
Do we actually need other people’s approval?
If we seek approval of another person
seek trustworthy people to give you an honest opinion.
Be selective

Another Ah ha moment…
Do I have an expectation for others to be perfect?
If I expect myself to be perfect 
Then that expectation carries over to 
Expecting others to be perfect…
which
Sets me up for constant disappointment in others

If it bothers me when they make mistakes, 
I am expecting them to be perfect.
I need to stop expecting them to be perfect.

This is powerful…
I can like them
for who they are
Accept them for who they are
I can like me for who I am
Accept me for who I am
My strengths and my weaknesses
own them

Who am I to think I know what is best for others
or how they should behave
or what they should say…

Who am I to give somebody else power over
what I am to do, think or
not think or not do…

Once again Acceptance is the key…
Accepting people as imperfect
Accepting people as fallible
Accepting them
instead of rejecting them
for their mistakes
and also
Accepting myself
as fallible

I know I had and still can tap into this mindset
“Expecting others to act or think like I do”
Expecting understanding
Expecting empathy
This sets me up for disappointments and suffering…
Accept them as they are
Accept me as I am…
Don’t compare them with myself…

I love this quote…
Don’t you…
Have you ever been caught up in this mindset?
It takes courage
to accept stupid people who do and say stupid stuff…
It takes a lot of self-control
to keep from blasting them…
I have to keep saying to myself
I cannot change them…
Accepting that they are indeed stupid will
keep me from saying or
acting out or
reacting back to them…
in a negative way

It is ok to let them be stupid…

Fear of Criticism is next trait of imperfection

Nobody likes to be criticized…
I am now realizing that criticism is attached
To Perfectionism…
and also attached to that, for me, is
Judgment and
Condescending attitudes
(which is a big childhood wound)

I could discern a condescending tone in someone’s voice
because I grew up with parents who used that tone
Talking down to me

They feel superior to you by their tone of voice
This was always a trigger for me to react with anger
until I learned how to forgive my parents for
how they treated me

However, I still do not like people who do that…

Even though I have dealt many times with the spirit of Judgment
It still can be a trigger for me.
And I can fall into the trap of responding with a judgmental tone
I have to be vigilant and stay alert

This quote outlines
self control
I have come to realize that if I react too quickly 
to a judgmental or condescending
Person, 
I will react with 
Old familiar negative responses

It is better to not respond
But Think and Process before responding
 

If I can accept them for who they are
I will not participate in their insanity dance…
This takes a lot of practice…

And the spiritual lesson is tolerance 
 God help me to be more tolerant…

Oh my God
Albert Einstein again
He has a sense of humor
On Tolerance

Tolerance is allowing others to have a difference of opinions, beliefs
and habits without getting upset with them…
Accepting that others have a right to a difference of opinion.

Honest Criticism
I don’t like the word criticism
I prefer advice…
I also do not use the word judgment
I try to use the words “assessment of the situation”
instead of judging a situation

In order to make good decisions,
I do need to assess pros and cons…

It is important to think positively
however it works out better
when you thinking rationally
and realistically

I am getting better
However, I still do not like constructive criticism

Especially if it is unsolicited criticism

Diplomacy is helpful
when giving constructive criticism
I have had many lessons on diplomacy
because without my awareness
I was being sarcastic and condescending…
I thought I was just be a woman of strength…
Until one day I got the awareness from the Holy Spirit…
when I read this quote

Sarcasm Definition:
words directed at another person intending to do harm
Greek word meaning “to tear flesh like dogs”

I always confessed that I was good at sarcasm
until I read these words

Lessons on diplomacy followed…
I still wanted to be heard
but I did not want to hurt people with my words.

Ask Permission
A wise old man once told me
“Esther if you feel you want to help someone by giving your advice to them, 
Do this,
Ask them if they would like your advice?”

I started to practice this method.
I realized and I noticed what was happening…

Because I gave that person the power to choose to hear my advice

They became more open-minded and more willing to hear 
And consider what I was suggesting.

They were listening, not just hearing.

Humor is tricky…
You have to be careful not to offend…

Give advice with no strings attached to whether they do it or not…
Let go of the outcome
or you could get
caught up in a
resentment

It always baffles me that counselors, mentors and friends and
family members
Seem to think they know what is best for me…
Months ago
several individuals, one after another
spoke words to me that 
Paralyzed me for months

I gave their words the power to hurt me… 
It wounded me…

I went spiraling down into a deep hole…

I stopped writing because someone had the nerve
To criticize my writings in a mean and nasty way.

Another person from my family got upset 
Because I was writing about my feelings while I was 
Growing up…and they took offense 

Another old man came up to me after a meeting
And said some nasty things to me…
I did not even know this guy…

I felt unloved and rejected…

They could not understand my perception of my struggles
I stayed in my lane
However, others came over in my lane
To impose their anger on me.

I picked up their anger
and hurt myself
by self-pity and
isolating
and developing resentments…

I HAVE BEEN WORKING A SPIRITUAL PROGRAM FOR OVER 32 YEARS
AND YET I STILL CAN BE CAUGHT OFF GUARD 
AND THROWN INTO THE DARK PIT
BY THE WORDS AND ACTIONS OF OTHERS…

Only God and another person
who has been in the same pit
can reach down their hand
to rescue me…

Forgive me God for allowing people to hurt me

This was an opportunity to practice asking God for help and a chance to learn
spiritual lessons and an
opportunity to practice forgiveness of others and an
opportunity to learn to forgive of myself
for allowing them to hurt me

These many of the insights
I have been receiving so far
on this spiritual path with this post.

Now I see why I had to look at my
character defect of
Perfectionism
to get to the point of
being able to forgive myself
and change
so it doesn’t catch me off guard again.


Fear of Failure

Fear of Failure and Fear of Success
Afraid that whether I do it wrong…
and
or do it right
that I won’t be able
to continue succeeding…

Also
Afraid of others comments, opinions…
of my success or failure..

I need to trust God and myself more
and
Allow God to walk with me …

I understand all of these
“fear of failure”
side effects
All of these were in the pit of despair
with me
Thank you God for rescuing me…

Interesting how the need for approval teams up with fear of failure…

I will Keep tweaking my failures until I suceed.

Never stop trying…
Never lose hope…

Never Give up
Never lose hope
Keep the faith
Trying times will pass
Have patience
You will live through the pain
it will pass

Don’t give up before the miracle

Strive for Progress rather than perfection…

Allow others to strive for progress also…

My Letter to God
Thank you for divine knowledge and wisdom and healing.
You are the creator of Forgiveness
I asked for your help today to be able to forgive myself

I can now forgive myself for not knowing better
I realize that I do not have to be perfect in your sight.
I can now forgive myself for giving away my power
I can now forgive myself for picking up old behaviors again
“perfectionism” “self pity” “fears”

I can now forgive myself for falling into the pit again.

God, I ask that you forgive me for my spiritual relapse.
Thank you God for rescuing me
Thank you for the spiritual lessons you taught me today
so I will resist the temptation to allow myself
to fall into that pit again…

I ask that you now remove from me the
“perfectionism”
defect of character trait, if it be your Will.

Burn in my soul
That I am a work in progress
Help me to not be so hard on myself
Help me to keep learning and growing spiritually
God, I love you so much…
You gave me understanding and enlightenments
today that will help me
to develop new ways of accepting myself and others

With Love,
Esther Mae
3-25-2023