Travel the Road of Love

No better time

to explore the many colors and facets of love

than on Valentine’s Day.

Are you ready to go down this path

of seeking new nuggets of wisdom regarding love?

One might say,

I know all there is to know about love?

I doubt that?

I am learning about love.

I am still a work in progress…

One might say,

I am not going down the road

to seek love again because I was hurt

by love and

it was too painful.

Broken trust and Anger will close our hearts

I understand intimately the pain of

betrayal, infidelity, broken trust and justified anger.

When a marriage partner

Asks for forgiveness and you forgive them

And then they do it again…

And they keep asking again, and again…

asking for forgiveness,

for the same things,

their actions do not match their words,

thus they are untrustworthy.

(This was manipulation on their part to keep doing the same thing)

I finally learned this spiritual lesson:

I learned that trust needs to be earned by actions not just words…

Actions speak louder than words.

Pay attention…

to their actions and

make sure their actions

are matching with their words

Having loved and lost is very painful,

but I guess it was worth it…

Sometimes I had to learn what loves was not,

in order to know what love is.

I have not experienced

true love yet…

Bitter (holding a resentment)

only gives that other person power

over my mind and my heart and

hinders my peace and

my chance of finding

love and happiness

in the future

AA, Alanon and

most of the 12 step programs

practice this action

to get rid of resentments.

I was told to follow

resentment instructions,

in the midst of

going through a divorce

with my husband’s constant

legal and verbal harassments.

I remember saying,

“I could not do this?”

I felt like I was condoning his actions and

giving him a free pass.

Shouldn’t he suffer the consequences?

I was told that I was not doing this for him.

I was doing this to be

set free…

from his hatred

and control

I was doing this for me.

For me to let go of the anger which was eating me alive

For me to let go of

him having space in my head and

the insanity and pain I was suffering.

I was to do this

To break the hold he had over me emotionally.

I did not want to do it.

But I did it anyway

It worked…

Once it worked and it relieved

the hatred and intense rage and anger.

I still had anger

but manageable anger and

I was not hurting myself with the anger anymore

Your heart will not be

healed and mended enough to love another,

as they deserve to be loved,

until you have healed and

gotten rid of your anger and resentments.

It is not fair to your new love partner

for you to bring all that wounding & emotional baggage

into your new relationship

I had to discipline

my mind and emotions to not

Relapse into that old way of

suffering and torture.

I guess

trust is important

for love to be real

and to even exist

Blocking love

is another form

of

self-torture.

You are giving Him power

over your happiness and

freedom to love again

If you learn the spiritual lessons

from your failed relationships,

you will pick better

next time.

Never give up hope.

I am 70 years young and

I believe that some of the best days

of my life are just around the bend.

Last year I went over to France and Spain and

Walked “el camino de Santiago de Frances”.

A pilgrimage of walking over 500 miles.

If I can walk that many miles,

I can find the “love of my life”

Someone who knows how

to love themselves and me

And has the courage

to try another love relationship

with me.

Never too late

to have the desires of my heart

fulfilled to find the love

God has hand-picked

just for me.

If It be God’s Will…

Maybe He has other

more important

things I am to do

while I am single.

Were the love relationship choices

I made in the past

a mistake?

I don’t think so.

Without the first marriage,

I would not have given birth

to my son.

So, it was definitely worth it.

I learned so much from

each of my marriages.

I am grateful for

those spiritual lessons.

It was not just me that was broken.

We both were broken.

I am a firm believer

That we each had answers and

healings for each other.

Our choice…

One chose healing and spiritual growth

and

the other chose rebellion towards healing.

His rebellion and the disease of alcoholism

destroyed our marriage.

I hopefully learned what

I was to learn to grow spiritually.

Both my husbands

rebelled but I

chose the healing.

Because they chose to stay stuck

they became angry and resentful

because of my spiritual growth.

In hindsight,

I see how much I learned from

each of my past relationships.

Thank you both…

So sad you did not chose healing.

Also, In that process

I learned a lot about myself.

How can that be a mistake?

There were many people

in my life who said

they loved me,

however,

they could not accept me,

without wanting to control me

I got a lot of new insights

by reading the above quotation.

Even though I was married

two men who said they loved me,

could not accept me

for who I was

They wanted to make me

be submissive

(an old religious doctrine which was taught incorrectly)

They wanted to change me and

control me

I could not accept their unkind words

and rejection

and

abandonment

Since abandonment was role-modeled in my family of origin

and in both my marriages

I abandoned myself

Thanks to God, to the 12 step support groups

and therapy

I now have a loving relationship with myself

I love who I am…

Love

Affection

Devotion

Desire

Love can restrain

Love can have conditions

o Want to change the person

o Want to silence the person’s voice

o Want to control them

Work on

practicing love

as a religion

Definition: Religion is usually defined as a social-cultural system of designated behaviors and practices, morals, beliefs, worldviews, texts, sanctified places, prophecies, ethics, or organizations, that generally relates humanity to supernatural, transcendental, and spiritual elements; however, there is no scholarly consensus over what precisely constitutes a religion

• Seek A love that

o does not condemn

o does not judge

o does not betray

o does not begrudge

o does not war

Acceptance -add acceptance to how you love self and love others

• Approval

• Tolerance

• Belief

• Acceptance allows freedom

o Freedom to forgive

o Freedom to tolerate

o Freedom to give

o Freedom to receive

o Freedom to allow

 Freedom to be forgiven

 Freedom to be tolerated

 Freedom to be allowed

 Freedom to be “who you are”

When you are allowed to be

who you were created to me,

your heart light and love

will light up the life of who you love and

those you choose

to give space in your life.

What kind of love comes

from my spiritual heart?

So the love that radiates

from my spiritual heart

does make a difference in other’s lives.

According to this quote,

each of us have a special color

uniquely ours

that serves a purpose

to those put in our paths.

Sharing that love

is very important.

You will never fully realize

the necessity and impact your love

has on others.

Just share it…

Wow, by just sharing love,

that love can cause a spark

that ignites a healing path

in the hearts and live of others.

Just share love

and know it makes a difference

to self and

others.

Six Categories of Love

1. Eros – Passion & Romantic Love

• I Dream of being loved and accepted for who they are

• I will give love but also want someone who can give love back

I Want passionate love with touching and hugging, & sexual

2. Ludus- Game-playing love, flirting

3. Storge- Family & Friendship Love

• Parent – Children love

• Parent – Children love

• Family – of choice

• Friendship

Friendship

Secrets

Truth

Sadness

Faith

Happiness

Respect

Love

Friends for a Reason

Friends for a Season

Friends for a

Lifetime…

Always be honest with true friends

Some people are

there when they need you

and stop connecting

when they are no

longer in crisis

4. Pragma – Mature Love-Harmony – with partner

Mature Logical Love

Love driven by the head,

the mind

Not from the heart

5. Mania – Obsessive Love, Jealousy and Irrational

Obsessive Love

Jealousy

Irrational

Need constant attention, affection, togetherness

Love is intense

panic if separated

6. Agape – Love of God – unconditional love – self-less

The Unconditional love of God

12 step Groups

try to practice unconditional love

to members

Agape love is selfless love

Not just an emotion

A conscious act of will

To Put others ahead of

ourselves

God puts us ahead of himself…

Agape love makes others

worthy and beautiful

by the power of its love

God’s Unconditional love for us

His Valentine for each one of us.

Be What you want to receive

If you want love

Give Love

If you want truth

Be truthful

If you want respect

Give respect

What you give

You will get

in return

When you connect to your

Spiritual Heart

You connect to the Holy Spirit

inside your heart

Let Go of Fear

Come Home to Love

Feel love flowing in and out of

your spiritual heart

Grow in Love

Expand that Love

Practice Love

Strengthen Love

Become Love

and

Merge in the

Illimitable Love

which is God

True Love

when you touch someone

with your spirit

and in return

they touch your soul

with their heart

Allow everyone to shine their own

beautiful colors of love

Accept them as they are…

made beautiful

by divine love…

To love a person

is to remind them

of their beautiful

qualities when they forget

If you haven’t read this book, please do…

Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Very interesting…

Ask your loved one to list their priorities of their love languages

so you can understand how they show love

Then Ask them to list in priority how they prefer to be loved by others

This will help you to understand how they love and what you can do to show your love to them

Words of Affirmations

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Physical touch

Love is meeting of two souls

Fully accepting the

dark and

the light

within each other

bound by the

courage to grow

through the good times

and the difficult times

I have learned that to understand the people we love

It is important to learn more about them

and communicate with them

in the language they can understand

I am capable of unconditional love

if I choose to practice it

Personally, I still believe that

God will fulfill

my heart’s desire

by sending me

A man who can

love me with Agape love

and with

Romantic love

I believe today that

I deserve to be

treated special.

I Trust God’s Will

for my future…

Since I have accepted Christ and

God and The Holy Spirit

in my heart

Nothing can separate me from

God’s Love

or

Jesus’s Love

or

The Love

of the

Holy Spirit

Hope you enjoyed and learned how to love more and hopefully

you have opened up your heart

for God’s Spirit to pour in

His love and fruit of the Spirit

love

joy

peace

forbearance

kindness

goodness

self-control

Happy Valentine’s Day 2022

Esther Mae 2-14-22